You may probably be tired of people telling you that you NEED TO SEEK THE RIGHT ONE. Or the infamous question, “dating anyone?” Your answer maybe a routine one as well.
I think a mistake we sometimes make it over thinking about our future way too much. What does this mean? I’ll explain, but just try to keep up.
If you are LDS and single, the probabilities of you looking for a spouse is high. So one, your goal is marriage right? This is your push or motivation to date. But when 2, which is you actually dating, you begin to place a vast list of worries, critics about her short toes or the vibrant yellow hew on his teeth or in other words, you begin to close your eyes to the future, which is a marriage or in our case, your Eternal companion. But seriously, when will you stop? Have you not notice that you are getting in the way of this happiness along with your petty list of imperfections?
Don’t get me wrong, you should have perspective towards your future spouse. You should be attracted and both of you should eye to eye on your values. But when you begin to have stupid deal breakers, your life starts becoming a lot like a Studio C skit, “Deal Breaker”
These deal breaker create confusion and indecisiveness of who you truly want for an Eternal partner. I’m also not saying that you should apply Elder Wirthlin admonition “come what may and love it.” You do have a choice, but when your deal breaker is a girl with small toes, “bad” skin color or them not liking your favorite tv show, I say, stay single then because no one deserves a person with that kind of thinking.
I know these can be very opinionated, but now being married for 4 years on Nov 9, I can tell you that 80% of the things I first cared for, have gone out the window, it just does not matter. Other things come into play and will come into play for you as you get to know your spouse, even if you have dated for a long time because commitment has a tendency to change people, it makes them better, and therefore, you tend to worry about eternal issues, rather than of things which will stay here on Earth.
WHO TO DATE
Date someone with your same values and not necessary your same likes. Why? First of all, you two are already the opposite gender, so that right there alone will get you in each others nerve at times… You will disagree on things… Also, I love learning new things from my spouse, I am interested in her and therefore I am interested in the things she may enjoy even if I don’t necessary like them. It is such a great way to bond with each other. For me, is boring being with another you.
I have found that because my cute wife and I have the same morals and values, we have more respect for our differences. I have learned that that respect and love I have for her have made some pet peeves, mundane. For other things like who does laundry or what type of movie to watch, we simply agree to meet each other half way.
I encourage you to date someone who loves Heavenly Father more than she loves you. Her/ His testimonies will lift you when Santa’s winds blow, and vise versa. Date someone who strives to be Temple worthy at all times even if they may fall short. In marriage, you two evolve together, not each on their own path. Date someone who is willing to learn, serve, play and explore with you. On your next date, date them with the mind set that they will be your next spouse and not just some girl or boy. Why waste their time? Why waste your time?
My wife and I dated for three days before we got engaged after knowing each other for just six weeks. What we both needed to know was if we liked each other, that’s all, because the rest of our perspectives, including our morals, had an attitude of action and not wasting time.
I know what you may think,
“Well, James, your are talking about the proper scenario, I mean that is the kind of person I’m looking for, I just haven’t met them yet.”
Well, maybe, but my focus is more on not being such a stickler towards the person in front of you that may be the one to help your life be filled with joy, light, and happiness.